Tales From Earthsea on UK Film4 - Hide Your Kids
The UK's Film4 is showing Goro Miyazaki's Tales From Earthsea (Gedo Senki) today at 6:45 pm. Let's see...add in the time zone difference...and what time is it over there....
Ack! Quick! Shield your eyes! Bad movie, bad movie! No buscuit for you!
Alright, alright, in the spirit of being helpful, since yesterday was my birthday and all, I'll give you a few readings from the movie, and offer up some, um...comments. Yeah, that's it. We've got movie sign!
Is it just me, or does this dragon look like Jimmy Durante?
Uh, oh, it looks like he's going to start singing. Mariaaaaa....I met a girl named Mariaaaa....
Oh, wait. The dragon doesn't really do anything. It just sorta....flies by. Wow. That was an exciting, um....fly-by.
"Waaahh, Ricky! Get me outta this picture! Ahhh, I need a scotch."
I'm a cartoon drawing, and even I don't wanna be in this picture.
He looks like he's being given a perp walk.
This is the same way everybody looked when they walked out of the movie theater.
Oh, that reminds me of the time I super-glued my hand to my face in shop class.
"Listen, Marsalis told you to show me a good time. And I want that trophy."
So are they just gonna sit there all day? Did Morissey make this movie?
In the Director's Cut, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show up and everyone starts go-go dancing.
This is the worst High School Musical ever.
It's Gandalf and Marilyn Manson!
I've seen better fights on The Maclaughlin Group. Wrong!!
So the big action sequence in this movie is a staring-down contest?
You know what this scene really needs? Eddie Murphy.
Is Goro trying to punish his father by making this movie, or is he trying to punish us?